Funny Love Quotes

A beautiful woman who is pleasing to men is good only for frightening fish when she falls into the water. ~Zen proverb

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. ~Brendan Francis

Age does not protect us from love, but love to some extent protects us from age. ~Anonymous

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems. ~Shelley Winters

Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for. ~Mae West

Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure out which people are worth the pain. ~ Erica Baican

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate. ~Sandra J. Dykes

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. ~Benjamin Franklin

I can't make you love me, want me, or understand me. All I can do is hope that someday you will. ~Lisa Brooks

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. ~Walt Disney

Funny Love Quotes

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. ~David Bissonette

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. ~Rita Rudner

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. ~Groucho Marx

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? ~Edith Ann

If you want peace in the house, do what your wife wants. ~African proverb

In love women are professionals, men are amateurs. ~Francois Truffaut

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. ~Unknown Author

One lover, that is love; two lovers, that is passion; three lovers, that is commerce. ~French proverb

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. ~Albert Einstein

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. ~Fran Lebowitz

Funny Love Quotes

The advantage of being celibate is that when one sees a pretty girl one need not grieve over having an ugly one back home. ~Paul Leautaud

The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs. ~Marlene Dietrich

The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes." ~Unknown Author

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. ~Woody Allen

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. ~Natalie Wood

There are two things no man will admit he can't do well; drive and make love. ~Stirling Mos

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. ~Agnes Repplier

We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack. ~Marie E. Eschenbach

When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you. And she never did. ~James Fineous McBride

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. ~Melanie Clark

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